With You I Will
by CrazyAnimationChick
Summary: A fix it fic because...well you know. Enjoy the out-of-character Reylo fluff! I hope you like it


She didn't know what to expect. After all, she's never kissed anyone before. So when her emotions get the better of her, causing her to collide her lips with the now redeemed Ben Solo, she was surprised at how soft and euphoric kissing actually is. She's seen people kiss before, has wondered about it in her younger years, but has always found it...odd. Why is the touch of lips from another such an act that others take so seriously?

Well, Rey finally knows what the big deal is, and when she and Ben pull away for air, the sight of his grin nearly causes her to kiss him again.

_He's smiling,_ she thinks as she mirrors it, laughing, _It's beautiful._

And Ben thinks the same about her laugh. _Maybe I really am dead_, he thinks as he brings his hand up to caress Rey's cheek, like she had done a moment before to him, _Because she has an angel's laugh._

"I thought I lost you," he said, wanting to kiss her again, but knowing that there are things that still need to be said.

Rey leans in to Ben's hand and brings her own hand up to rest it upon his. "Well, you always were successful in finding me."

Ben chuckles. "Not from the dead."

"True," Rey says, "those other times you were trying _to _kill me."

She was teasing, he knew this, but he still cringes. "You ruined the moment. And I wasn't trying to kill you _every _time. Most of it was self-defense and-"

"And it no longer matters," Rey interrupts, seriously, wanting the past to be erased, forgotten, and for a new era to begin. "All that matters now is..." but she trails off because there's much that matters now.

The reactions of her friends and allies when they see her with Ben, the dead, the living, the mourning, the rebuilding, the-

"Healing," Ben says for her, and she nods.

"Yes," and her mind wonders to Leia. "Ben, I don't think I ever told you how sorry I am about...well...about-"

"Stabbing me in the middle of a raging sea?" He suggests. "I found it rather romantic and arousing." He laughs when Rey gently smacks his shoulder, which, despite how gentle she was, still hurt. His whole body is weak, especially after bringing her back to life by giving her some of his life force, but he didn't mind it. He'd do it all over again. Besides, losing her to death for a moment hurt a helluva lot more.

"No," Rey says, the hint of laughter in her voice. However, her little smile quickly turns into a frown. "I'm sorry about Leia. Your mother."

Ben stiffens at the reminder. For awhile, he had forgotten that his mother no longer lives in her physical form, and his heart aches at both forgetting and remembering. So does Rey's. He can tell by the pain in her eyes. "I...She..." but he didn't know what to say. What was there to say anyway? So he says the only thing he can. "I'm sorry too." And Rey knows it wasn't just about his mother.

It was about his father.

His uncle.

Her.

All the other people he's killed.

Everything he has ever done that has caused so much pain.

Ben's eyes are closed as a moment of silence passes and Rey watches every second of it. She drinks in his details, while he drinks in the memories that she knows he must be witnessing. She notices the scars, the dirt, the blood, the sweat...the tears.

She's holding him before he knows it, and before she knows it she's crying too. "She loved you so much, Ben," she said into the crook of his neck, voice mumbled, but still audible. "She still does. She's still with us. She'd be proud of you."

Ben nearly released a sob, but he held it in, his only response was the tightening of his arms around her. This girl. This scavenger. This...

Jedi.

The granddaughter of Palpatine.

The Emperor wanted her to kill him, to ascend, and kill him she did, but ascend? Well that's a matter of perspective. Rey did ascend, but not in the way that Emperor Palpatine, her grandfather, had wanted. She became something better. Something stronger. Something...

Balanced.

Not white and black, but gray.

Not red and blue, but purple.

A mix of light and dark.

Good and bad.

Life and death.

"She'd be proud of you too," Ben said. "Just like I am." And he feels her lips against the skin of his neck curl into a smile.

"I heard you, by the way," she says, keeping her face buried in his neck, breathing in his scent, which wasn't really his scent at all. Just blood and sweat. Metallic and salty.

"I...I died, Ben. I know I was dead. Everything was white and I heard so many voices. Some of them welcomed me, but there were others that told me to go back. That it wasn't right for me to be there when I never got the chance to really live. I tried telling them that I didn't know how, but they insisted that I reach out. I think Leia, Luke, and Han were the ones saying that. Maybe my parents too. I don't really know. Everyone was speaking all at once, but then...then there was only one voice. A voice I heard loud and clear. A voice that drowned out all the rest. _Your voice_."

She pulls back to look at him again, new tears springing to her eyes. "You said-"

"Be with me." Ben said for her, surprised that she actually heard him. "You heard?"

Grinning, Rey nods. "And I listened. I took your hand."

And by hand, she means the energy, the life force, that she felt him offer her. He was nowhere to be seen, but she felt him. He was near and every thought about joining her parents and Luke and Leia and Han...they all disappeared. She had a choice. A way out. And it lead back to him.

It was a tough choice, but not a hard one. It was rather easy.

She'd _always _choose Ben.

"Your mother said I'd be a fool not to go back," Rey says, her grin lowering into a fond smile as she remembered the words of Leia before she accepted Ben's life force, "She wouldn't want you to blame yourself, you know. She'd want you to forgive yourself. To forgive you like I have. Will you do that for her? For me?"

_I'd do anything for you_, Ben wanted to say, but instead he says, "I'll try," because really forgiving oneself is not an easy task and he's rather not lie to her and say he will.

There's a chance he'll never forgive himself.

And perhaps that's what he deserves, to drown in his guilt.

But, as cliche as it sounds, if it all meant meeting her, getting to where they are now, which includes the deaths of his parents and so many others, he'd gladly go through all of it again. It's twisted to think so, and perhaps there will always be something twisted in him, but one thing is for sure...

It's unbinding.

The sound of the spacecrafts up ahead reaches their ears and it makes them look up at the survivors who Ben feared wouldn't welcome him with open arms. "You should go." He says, not wanting her to go, but also not wanting her to stay with him when he has nothing to give her.

Just a wounded heart.

She deserves more.

"What?" Rey says, not believing her ears. "You...you're coming with me, right?"

Ben shakes his head. "No," and then he forces his lips to curl into an assuring smile, "and I promise I won't follow this time. Go live your life, Rey. Go heal."

"But-"

But he cuts her off, not wanting to argue with her. Because the longer she stays, the more it'll hurt when she does leave. The more likely he is to not let her go at all. It's what the Kylo that is still in him wants. But it's not what Ben wants.

He wants her to live.

Without him.

Because it's what she deserves. She deserves better. So much better.

"No, Rey. You know as well as I do that a welcoming party is not going to happen. They'll kill me on the spot, and even if they don't they'll never learn to trust me. They'll always be on guard, and your friends..." he pauses to hold her cheek again, "they'll turn on you. Think that you betrayed them. You have what I don't, Rey. A family. Don't throw it away. Not for me."

"And if I refuse?" Says Rey, hating the torn feeling that is ripping her apart. Her friends think she's dead, so it'd be easy to run away with Ben and start off fresh, but Ben is right. Her friends are her family. She's wanted a family so long and she finally has one. She can't abandon them, and yet...

The thought of leaving Ben again hurts her more.

He's family too.

Ben chuckles and says, "Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

"I could say the same to you," she retorts, a cheeky smirk painted on her face. "But you're right. The Resistance won't be friendly. They probably never will, and I don't blame them." Neither did Ben. "Which means..." she pauses as she takes another moment to fully think through her decision.

"Means what?" Ben asked, eagerly, knowing that her answer will be one he won't like, even if it means joining him in a self-proclaimed exile. He wants nothing more for her to finally join him, but not if it means bringing her unhappiness. He doesn't want her to choose between him and them.

Not again.

She doesn't answer right away. Instead she staggers to her feet, causing Ben's lap to grow cold at the absence of her warmth, and holds her hand out to him.

And he found it rather symbolic.

A sense of de ja vu that is reversed.

For it was now _her _holding her hand out to _him._

And unlike Rey did in the past, Ben takes it with no question.

She helps him to his feet, which was a struggle since his leg is badly injured, and wraps his arm around her shoulders. Her own arm slips around his waist, giving him support, and when they take their first step together out of the destroyed throne room, she finally answers him.

"It means I have to say goodbye."

...

She stayed for the celebrations while Ben hid deep in the forest, letting her enjoy the rest of her time with her friends. Her family. They were ecstatic at the revelation that Rey lives, and of course, Ben related to their relief. Rey was just as happy to see Finn and Poe, alive and in one piece, as they were to see her. Maybe even more so. She cried for what seemed like forever.

And oh how she so badly wanted to tell them that it was Ben who they need to thank for bringing her back to life. That if it wasn't for him, she wouldn't be there to celebrate with them, which wasn't much of a celebration since Ben wasn't there. He deserved to be there.

He doesn't deserve to be left alone.

"I know I'm not alone anymore," he had told her when she voiced her concern before reuniting with the others after the battle. "I don't mind waiting for you." He had chuckled at this before brushing some of her hair behind her ear. "I've done it before." He had leaned forward, and for a moment Rey had thought he was going to capture her lips, but instead he kissed her forehead.

He leaned his forehead against her own, eyes closed as he drunk in the moment. "Besides, it'll only be for a few days. I think you'll manage just fine without me like you've done in the past."

Rey playfully rolled her eyes. "It's not me I'm worried about."

And it makes him grin. "Aw. It's nice to see that you care."

She left him with punch to the arm and an echo of laughter in the wind.

...

The celebrations lasted an entire week, and while Rey did have fun, enjoying every second she had left with Finn and Poe, she simply wasn't complete without Ben. Not even seeing him through their Force Bond was enough to satisfy her. It did bring her comfort though when the nightmares came that first night. Ben had them too. They are haunted dreams that both knew won't be going away any time soon.

They comforted each other through the Force, but it wasn't until they reunited again at the end of the week that they both felt true relief. Rey had secretly snatched all the supplies that she could, said her goodbyes, a time of self healing she had said, and managed to get away without trouble.

Finn, Poe, Chewie, and BB-8 were sad to see her go, but knew it was something she needed. Although, according to Finn, healing in isolation isn't really healing at all.

Unbeknownst to them, she wouldn't be alone at all.

She still cried though when she left them, and was still crying when she had found Ben in the deserted cave they had left him at. For a moment Ben had thought it was because she was there to say goodbye to _him_, that she had changed her mind, but no. That wasn't it at all.

"Leaving them is hurting you. I don't want you to hurt anymore. You can stay," he had assured her as he held her in his arm, wishing he could stop her tears.

"With you I will," she said and pulls away from his chest to look him in the eye. She places both hands on his face and says again, "With you I will stay." And seeing the seriousness, the _certainty _that her eyes held, the _love_, it made him weak in the knees but strong in his confidence.

He swooped down to her lips so quickly that she makes a noise of surprise against his mouth. It makes him smile a little, but that smile didn't last long at all because she's quick to compose herself and is kissing him back _ferociously_. Kriff, they've both wanted to kiss each other again ever since they had their first kiss the week before. And they both swear by the Maker that this kiss is so much better.

It held way more passion than their first one.

Because this kiss is a promise.

Ben's arms snuck around Rey's waist quickly, pulling her closer to him, and his fingers squeeze into the flesh of her sides, making sure that she's really there, that this isn't a dream, and when she moans at the action of his fingers, he deepens the kiss, making her moan into his mouth again, and...well...some _thing _told him just how real this was.

And he prayed she didn't feel it.

He pulls away before he could lose control to his lust, and says, "I'm sure you're tired of this question, and as much as I love kissing you, I _have _to ask you again. Are you really sure you want to do this? Are you sure you want to...run away with me?"

Rey smiles and it makes his knees weak again. "Ben," he never liked his name, but when she says it, it's like music and it sends shivers down his spine, "I'm not running away. I'm moving forward. With you. I didn't take your hand before because it wasn't yours. I'm taking it now." And down her hands went to entwine with his.

A perfect fit.

"But I have nothing to give you-" Ben tried to argue, but of course Rey always has something to say.

"I didn't want you when you had everything," she said, the memory clear as day in her brain, never to be erased, but can easily be forgiven. "All I want...is you. Only you."

And damn, did that make him emotional. His chest tightened and his throat went dry and his eyes, well they certainly didn't stay dry at all. They teared up and he laughs before kissing her again. _Genuinely _laughs. Both in happiness and out of shock.

Because she loves him, though she didn't say it. She doesn't need to say it. He _knows _it. He _feels _it within their bond. As does she.

And even after a week, it all still feels like a dream.

And perhaps it always will, but in all honesty...

If it is a dream...

Neither of them want to wake up from it.

...

And when they bury his mother and uncle's sabers in the sands of Tatooine, outside of Luke's old home, confronting an old woman who was passing by, Ben doesn't realize how truly real his new life is until Rey speaks.

"I am Ben. Ben Solo." He had said to the woman.

"And I'm Rey." She said, smiling kindly before turning her eyes to him. "Rey Solo."

Ben's heart either stopped beating or it was beating too fast for him to feel or hear a pulse. He looks at her in bewilderment while the old woman smiles.

"Siblings?" She guesses.

Rey shakes her head. "No ma'am. Definitely not." And that's all she needed to say for the woman to understand.

For _him _to understand how she _exactly _sees him as.

Husband material

Ha, who would have thought?

"Ah," the woman says, her smile wider than before. "I see. Well, welcome to Tatooine, lovebirds."

And off she goes.

And off they go too.

Walking into the sunset, with no idea on where they're going, but knowing that they don't need to have a direct path.

Because the only path that they'll ever need to follow...

Is each other.

...

**A.N: Th end. (Ben deserved to fucking live god damn it!)**

...

_A Silly Bonus:_

"Rey Solo? I figured you would have gone with just Rey. Maybe even Skywalker."

"Well, whether it's Solo or Skywalker, it's still a connection to you. Do you not like it? Shall I find that woman and-"

"No, no. No need for that."

"Because it'd be a waste of time or because you like it?"

"Both."

"It does have a nice ring to it doesn't it?"

"Indeed it does. Very, very much."

"And since it has a nice ring to it, perhaps you should make a _ring _to officiate it."

"Are you suggesting I propose to you?"

"Nah. We're pretty much already married."

"Well, we haven't consummated yet."

"Are you suggesting we bed each other?"

"You know you want to."

"Ben, your mother would be scandalized."

"My father would be proud though."

"Not if he found out you're a bottom."

"Am not!"

"Hmm then I guess you'll have to prove it."

"Look who's scandalous now."

"You know you like it."

"Correction, my dear Rey Solo. I love it."

"Oh geez, maybe giving myself your last name was a bad idea."

"Actually, I think it's the best idea you've ever come up with."

"Oh ha ha."

"Hey, Rey Solo?"

"Yes, Ben Solo?"

"I love you."

"I know."


End file.
